read comments (16)
September 13, 2009 at 10:23 am by Anonymous in - Kids
#16 by Anonymous
I can speak from experience (and yes I am still dealing with this issue and mine is 11 years old)....#9 is looking at the big picture and that is the son....you dont have to like his father or what he does but the reality of it is your son is still his son with or without his last name. That door needs to always be opened because it is about him not you and definately not the father. You want to know about examples....well look at it this way...his father is teaching him what kind of man he DOES NOT want to be when he grows up. You cannot remove a parent from a child just because you dont like them or what they represent...you did at one time and this person did not change overnight. As far as support goes...I have not received one dime from him but I have had to pay him and I have custody....so trust me when I tell you file them anyway...you have a better chance since Uncle Sam dont like that mess. Go to counseling and learn how to become unemotional about the father...it appears that you still have some feelings about him (not saying you are in love with him but....) An angry mom does not produce a productive future for this country as she rears a man-child....take some time and think about his future before you make major decisions and never make them right after speaking to the father....these are rules I live by daily...and have for the past 4 years.
#15 by Anonymous
Nope... he didn't care, he doesn't care. Fuck him. And do NOT let him know where you are, because if his whoring life doesn't work out, he may get this crazy idea to become a dad and hunt you down... but since you said he has a drinking problem, he might show up like a drunken psycho, and you don't want your kid around people with substance abuse problems.
#14 by xxxkitikonitxxx
Ewww sounds like my 4mo olds father. Nazi cows these men are. No you did everthing in your power to let him be there for YOUR kid. Now you can move on with life knowing you are not the bad parent. Soor girl! dont it just hurt your heart some where way deep in there knowing theses azz holes dont care. I know we try to keep our heads up for or kids but deep down inside you know you want to just kill em ( figuar of speach) I pray day and night that my sons fater dies soon so i can collect money on his dumb dead azz lol lol lol lol yeah i said im a b*tch! ! southern gurl!
#13 by Anonymous
I think #9 got it right.
Get the test, and atleast file the papers for child support. Your son won't remember anything about court. He should help you support the kid, and he doen't have to be there all the time, but make sure he can still visit his son if he ever comes around.
And NEVER bad mouth your son's father infront of your son.
When your son grows up he'll be able to form his own opinion of his father, and he'll appreciate that you let him form that opinion on his own, and not under your ifnluence. (I know I was glad when my mom let me form my own opinion of my dad, who wasn't the best either.)
#12 by Anonymous
thank yall so mych for yalls opinions!!! i really aprreciate it!!! but i do have just a couple comments in response to a few things said on here..... to #6, no i do not want a 'role model' like him in my son's life, but i also would like for my son to be able to meet/know his father. #7 i havent gotten a dime from him yet, and highly doubt i'll be able to unless we go through the courts, and i dont really know how i feel about putting Eli through the courts, even if he is just a baby and wont understand. #9... i have offered the DNA test but he keeps making up excuses for why he wont come back to the states on leave to take the test. and as far as our relationship/friendship.. that's not my concern, my only concern is my son. and lastly to #10 my son is 3 months and 2weeks old and i went through a 9 month pregnancy, no offense but i do believe i have given him PLENTY of time to step up and be a man and take care of his responsibilities. time fore talking/waiting is over, my son and I are moving on with our lives as if he never existed.
#11 by Anonymous
Get the DNA test to prove he's the dad. Then take him for everything you can in child support.
#10 by Anonymous
get the test and if the father doesn't change his ways in 3 months then disappear. You owe it to your child to at least make one more try
#9 by Anonymous
You should give him the DNA test to prove to him that you have nothing to hide and that he is indeed the father. I know it hurts that he would ask but the reality is as a mother you are 100% sure it's your child and he needs to feel 100% sure that it's his child (I have been there and done that and had a DNA test with my daughter's father when she turned 6 and we were no longer together because all of a sudden he didn't know if she was his). At that point you can put him on child support adn make him legally obligated to help you financially support his child and at that point you can do a visitation agreement if he wants to be a part of the child's life. What you don't want to do is close the door on him without giving him that option because in the end your child will hold resentment to you when they find out that you closed the door and never gave the father the opportunity to be there. This issue is no longer about you and him and ya'll having a relationship. It goes deeper and the child is the one that this situation is about. You have to look beyond your hurt feelings and animosity towards him and focus on your child, his well-being, and what is best for him. It took the 2 of you to make him and so it should ultimately be his decision as to whether or not he will be a part of this child's life.
#8 by Anonymous
You did the right thing your only obligation is to take care of yours and if he's not steping up to the plate you have to hold things down and do what us moms do put our kids first and hope that maybe he can come around cause he's the only one missing out
#7 by Anonymous
Just make sure you get child support..take him to court and make sure that the door is open just in case your son wants to know his Dad..
#6 by Anonymous
and you want this 'role model' of a father in your son's life??? hmmmmmm
#5 by Anonymous
thank yall.... i just worry that my son will hate me for taking him away from his father =[
#4 by Anonymous
U DID THE RIGHT THING!
I WOULD BE SOO ANGRY IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO ME NOT EVEN REMEMBERING HIS OWN CHILD! GOD BLESS U AND UR CHILD GOD HAS A BETTER FUTURE FOR U GUYS :D
#3 by Anonymous
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT;S BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD, BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE YOU HAVE TO TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND YEA AT TIMES IT MAY BE HARD BUT GOD DONT GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE...
#2 by Anonymous
thank you! ive given him too many chances to stand up and be a dad, and he has chosen to not be one. as sad as it is i still email him pictures of our son, so he would atleast know he looks just like him and how beautiful our son is so maybe he'll wanna try to help out with him, oh well time to move on with my son and look forward to our future together!!
#1 by Anonymous
Don't even bother with this loser, there are many men out there looking for a strong woman like yourself!
