I was with my ex for 5 years. Our relationship was not a healthy one. We both drank too much. He was physically abusive. Yet for some reason we were always drwan back to eachother. I hadn't seen him for awhile when he called me up one night. He ended up staying over at my place and 9 months later our son was born. For the longest time I didn't even tell my family who my son's father is because they HATE him. Backing up alittle. 2 days before I found out I was pregnant my ex went to jail. He ended up getting trasfered to prison and missed my whole pregnancy and almost the first year of our son's life. I had been in contact with him through letters. While he was in prison I had told him that another guy was the father of my son. I said this because thinking about our abusive past I wasn't sure if I wanted a man like that in my sons life. Well when he got out of prison August 4th he called me up. He came over and when I was talking to him face to face I told him he was my sons father. I just felt like he had the right no know that he has a son. Well, he had nowhere else to go. I let him stay on my couch for 2 weeks. I finally told him he had to get his butt in gear and move on. He has been borrowing money from me (I say borrow, but I know he will never repay it) and is not even looking for work. I am starting to regret that I ever told him our son was his. My family hates the fact that I let him back in my life. I finally told them that he was my sons father and told them that I have seen him since he got out (they dont know i was in contact with him while he was gone and they dont know I let him stay at my plce for 2 weeks when he got out). I have had an offer from my dad to move to washington from california to get away from him. My family helps me out financially when I need it. They see that I am a great mother and being a single mother is hard sometimes. I feel like my sons father is dragging me down. I just wish I wouldnt have told him about our son. Should I listen to my family and avoid my ex even though it will hurt him to lose his only "friend", or should I allow my son's father to be in our lives even though he is a life sucking parasite?
read comments (9)
you are RIGHT! (21) -
you are WRONG! (2)
September 9, 2009 at 12:42 pm by Anonymous
in - Family#9 by Anonymous
Run for the hills!!! This man will drag you back down!!!! SAVE YOUR SON!!!!!
#8 by jfrancine
follow what ur family told you.. they know what's best for you and your son.. start a new life in washington and be happy.. you might even find the right guy for you who would be willing to father your son..
#7 by Anonymous
go be with your family.. You need the love and support of your family No man is worth the headache..Thank him for sperm he donate to give you your son
#6 by Anonymous
Your son will thank you later...dont let him learn bad habits early
#5 by Anonymous
#1 by Anonymous took the words right out of my mouth, "Your first priority is to your son and his well being. Take your family's offer and get outta Dodge....."
The ONLY thing that matters is what is best for your son, and right now, going to your parents seems like your best option. It seems they were able to teach their daughter to think for herself, and they'll be 100X better at helping raise your son than your ex will ever be. Not saying that people don't change, but I doubt your ex will.
#4 by Anonymous
Get away from him. He isn't good for you or your son.
#3 by Anonymous
Get out while someone can help you. My mother stayed with my abusive father for years because noone could help and I wish she hadn't leave while you can please.
#2 by Anonymous
I think you should accept your family's offer for a new start. Keep in touch with the father, but offer him NOTHING other than the chance to know his son. No couch, no money, no shoulder to cry on. I honestly can't say there is a right or wrong on this issue.
#1 by Anonymous
Your first priority is to your son and his well being. Take your family's offer and get outta Dodge as soon as possible. If (and that's a big if) your son's father cleans up his act and can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has your son's best interests at heart, then and only then would I allow him to be a part of his life, and even then only on a limited basis.
